“7 THINGS – I don’t like to eat that everyone else seems to like…”

This week's "7 THINGS!"

I am a woman of unusual tastes. My go to snack of choice? Smoked mackerel fillets. I crave them. I dream about them. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a paragon of healthy living, far from it. I’m a woman who on the odd occasion snaffles a Quaver sandwich, scoffs a fresh loaf like its oxygen and can inhale a Twirl in three bites. There are, however, a few foods that make me feel a little bit ‘blurgh’. And these are foods that a lot of people I know can’t get enough of. Please don’t judge me...

Here are this week’s “7 THINGS”

1.     ICE CREAM –  I know. How can I not like ice cream, right? And don’t get me wrong, the flavours entice me with their tempting titles; salted caramel, strawberry swirl, mint choc chip – delish! Indeed, the sight of all those metal trays full of soft, sweet gelato embellished with chocolate curls, marshmallow puffs, toasted almonds, and any number of drizzled syrups, sitting in the chilled counter of an ice cream parlour are enough to make my eyes wide… But that’s where the joy stops for me. Because the taste, the temperature and the texture make me want to yak! I wish it wasn’t the case, these ice cream concoctions smell divine! But when it comes to the icy treat, I’d rather just have the cone. Or an apple.

2.     FRIED EGGS – even writing the word has made my mouth water and not in a good way. I find eggs in general to be a little tricky. It’s something to do with what an egg is, which I won’t expand on for fear of barfing on my laptop. Fine if they are in a cake or transformed into a noodle and therefore not ‘obvious’ but if an egg is sloppily poached, under boiled or slippery fried, I go a little green around the gills. As a child, every meal we ate out as a family, I ordered ‘poached egg on toast’ – tells you a lot about the kind of restaurants we used to frequent, more ‘Greasy Spoon’ than ‘Michelin starred’. But in latter years, I find they give me the ick.

3.     BEER/CIDER/ALE – I’m not a drinker. Booze and I have not been buddies for the longest time, but if I had to indulge it would be with a chilled glass of something dry, cold, and fizzy. The thought of necking a pint of the hoppy or appley delight that my menfolk adore makes me feel awful! So much liquid! So much gassy liquid! I’d be tooting all the way up the high street!

4.     CAVIAR/ROE/– Hmmmm... this very similar to my dodgy ‘egg’ relationship. The main difference is I never ordered any of these things when we went out for a Wimpy as a child. I’m beginning to think it’s a texture thing. That and the idea that caviar/roe are eggs from another mother, but to be honest, whether they’ve come out a chicken or a fish’s nether regions, I don’t want to eat either of them!

5.     MEAT – I haven’t eaten ‘meat’ since I was a small child. I do, on occasion eat fish, (especially, as you now know, smoked mackerel) but chickens, pigs, sheeps, cows, rabbits, goats etc – nup. I just can’t do it! Even when very small I couldn’t figure out the difference in food terms, between a dog, a cat and a cow or pig. They all look at you with the same expression and the thought of biting a lump out of any of their bums, it horrified me! I do however cook and handle meat, and I’m prepared to slaughter, butcher and prep meat, if need be, as I think if you are going to buy and prepare it this is probably the most honest relationship you can have; understanding the source of the protein and the consequences of the decision to eat/cook it. But it really isn’t for me.

6.     BREAD AND BUTTER PUDDING – soggy bread???!!! NO THANK YOU! My nan was a wonderful pudding cook. Her creations were the highlight of our Sunday. But bread and butter pudding day felt like a punishment. I’d watch her make it from scratch, pouring a thick anglaise over rows of bread, dappled with dried fruit and Demerara sugar. Just the sight of it soaking up the liquid and turning to mush was enough to make me cry! I no longer cry but I still don’t like it.

7.     FOAM SHRIMPS AND FOAM BANANAS – Who would choose these? Who? I mean come on people, why would anyone in their right mind pop these into their penny bag when there were far superior sweets to choose. I refer of course to fruit salads, black jacks, cola bottles, fizzy worms, pineapple chunks, chocolate spanners, white chocolate mice, lemon bon bons, liquorice wheels, sour stripes, flying saucers, I could go on. But those foam shrimps and bananas – they were like soft, plastic, pasty, tasteless, synthetic blobs of crud that I would lob as far as I could, usually at my brother’s head, rather than consume. I think I’ve made my point.

Thank you for reading this week’s, “7 THINGS!” - for all things Amanda Prowse head over to www.amandaprowse.com - what do you not like to eat? #askingforafriend