“7 THINGS I Learned from my nan!”

This weeks "7 Things"

“7 THINGS I Learned from my Nan!”

I never regret one second of the time I spent with my nan. She was fabulous! A stay-at-home hypochondriac who would announce with confidence that she was a modern miracle as she’d had so many illnesses, operations, and ailments! She was practically a walking Lancet! I laugh, but I think it stemmed from the fact that she was one of several children who grew up in a harsh working-class environment of Limehouse, East London, living in Ropemakers Fields where housing was poor and hopes for the future low.

It was about making do and mending and getting on with it. My nan as a child was ill with scarlet fever and I suspect it was one of the few times she felt special, with attention, hospital visits and something unique that was hers… maybe that feeling of vulnerability, yet being cared for was alluring. She was of course so much more than this, she was funny, the best cook and so very kind. I was privileged to be with her when she passed away a few years ago now, and oh how I miss her still!

Here are my “7 THINGS” this week.

1.     “There ain’t no moisturiser, cream or potion that can hold back the years so don’t waste your money. Just keep your face out of the sun and drink more water!” this stuck with me and whilst it might have taken me decades to heed the ‘stay out of the sun’ bit – I do now. She never applied creams to her face but did avoid soap of any kind, only washing her face with water. Her skin was glorious! This of course was so much more than beauty advice; she was reminding me that ageing is a natural and beautiful thing and not to fret or waste my pennies on promised ‘CURES’ to the problem of ageing. Instead, don’t see it as a problem and she is right!

2.     “Make a decision !! Pick the one that feels right or at the very least choose it for the right reasons, if you’re proved wrong, at least you were being true to yourself.” I love this. I know that for many, decision making can be an agonising process, weighing up the pros and cons, the mental tussle back and forth of ‘should I or shouldn’t I?’ I love the idea of just picking one without too much thought and telling yourself that the decision you make is the right one, because it’s the one you made. It also helps keep the anguish of regret and FOMO at bay.  

3.     “Failing is how we learn – don’t fear making mistakes. Making the same mistake twice or three times however is another story...” I live my life by this. Permission to fail is permission to thrive! Try and find a scientist who has cracked the code, found the cure, resolved the problem first time. More likely they failed on any number of occasions and adjusted what they did. It’s so important for children too to know that failure is an option. Not to be content with failure, but to learn from it and do differently. There is no failure, only lessons learned.

4.     “Trust your instinct.” Oh yes, that little voice that lives inside all of us that we too often quieten or don’t pay full attention to. It whispers loudly in our ear, and I know you’ve heard it too. There have been so many times for me: the relationship that set alarm bells ringing from the get-go, but I figured would work better as time went on. The job I hated but convinced myself I’d grow to love more. The wallpaper that the moment it went up on the wall made my insides shrink in dislike. And arriving in a place and where I felt an instant desire to get out of there! Just me? I’ve learned with age to pay heed to this voice of reason, this gut feeling that is often our truest guide if we learn how to listen to it! I know it keeps me safe.

5.     “There are no pockets in shrouds” This thought, that it’s experiences, people and feelings that are the things you will remember at the end of your life, has been a guiding principle in my life. The pursuit of money and the desire to acquire things is for me, not the route to happiness. In my early twenties I thought it might be! I figured if I could have a fancy car or a designer clobber, I would feel fantastic, and my life would be fantastic! Ha! I cringe to think of that now. And as I age, I want to shed possessions and all the responsibilities that go with them. It’s really freeing!

6.     “We all shit through the same hole…” yes indeed we do! This I tell myself whenever I feel nervous about meeting someone who I feel a little in awe of or a little anxious about conversing with. A salient reminder that we all share the same thoughts, feelings, and insecurities no matter how we present ourselves.

7. “ Never ask someone to do anything you’re not prepared to do yourself.” This stuck with me. I think the message is to lead by example. I’ve had some less than salubrious jobs over the years, and remember the people I worked for that got stuck in alongside me. These employers I did my very best for. I also worked for people (especially in my cleaning jobs) who felt what I did was beneath them. It made me feel a little less than and made a hard job even harder. It now makes me strive to ensure everyone I encounter feels valued. It also makes me think before I ask the kids or anyone to perform a task, I think about how I would feel, is it too hard? Do they need help?

I hope this week’s “7 THINGS” have resonated this week! Do let me know any pearls of wisdom that get you through the day.

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