"Tangerine!" by Amanda Prowse

No 4 "LET'S FACE IT..."

No 4 “LETS FACE IT…”

I’m 53. The youthful blush of my face has long gone, and the ageing process seems to have put its foot on the accelerator over the last couple of years. I have creases, lines, and wrinkles where my skin was once peach-like, and dark shadows that give me an air of fatigue. My lips are thinning, my teeth are a little yellow and jagged, pores that are getting bigger, and I have hairs sprouting that are hard to reach and appear with such regularity post-plucking that I am sure they defy the laws of nature. And my forehead, up close, looks like an elephant’s scrotum.

I’ve never been a great beauty, have never looked in the mirror and loved the face that stared back at me, even when I was a teen goddess (as we all are) and was probably at my most attractive. Even then the perceived flaws on my face were many, different shaped eyes, a bent nose, odd eyebrows, freckles, a birthmark, moles, more than a hint of a moustache and facial fuzz. These just a few of the reasons I never felt… beautiful.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is not a lament to invite commentary on my face past and present and nor am I seeking any kind of bolster. It’s more a fact. I have never felt beautiful and that’s okay.

In my youth I would marvel at the flawless beauty that peered at me from the pages of glossy magazines as I tootled along on the bus or Tube, wondering what it would feel like to have that face (and that body) for just a day!

As I age, however, I no longer look at my face in the same way. And before you holler, this does not mean I am throwing in the towel! Far from it. I do, on occasion, moisturise. I regularly slap on a bit of mascara and lippy to lift my mood or go out in public and that makes me feel good. I’ve even been known to brush my hair.

I am also a huge advocate of doing whatever it is that works for YOU. Doing whatever it is that gives YOU confidence to go out and face the world. Because that has to be the goal, right? Happy, confident women, ready to face the world!

I personally choose not to subscribe to Botox, fillers, face lifts and any other means of trying to hold back the years, as I just can’t for the life of me see why it matters! And am at the point now where many of my older friends now look much younger than me.

I admit that that when it comes to my personal appearance, I am a little lax, bordering on negligent. In my defence when you work alone as an author in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere with only pigs, dogs, couple of sheep and a husband who already knows what you look like without the slap, there is very little incentive to wake each day and set to with the contouring brush and eyelash curlers (not that I’d know what to do with either!).

Ready to face the world!

I jest, but I really want the message that we give to ourselves and to the younger generation to be “love the skin you are in!” Love who you are with all your incredible potential, and I want the emphasis to be on what lies beneath and not the surface cells that coat all that is truly miraculous about us. We tell kids and teens they can be anything they want - that girls can smash those glass ceilings, but counter this by telling them to stay young! Stay beautiful! What a terrible, cruel, and unnecessary pressure. 

In an age where depression, low self-esteem and mental health issues are on the rise, where images of unattainable physical perfection are beamed into our hands every second - I worry about the message this quest for youth gives, and the myth that cosmetic and interventional beauty treatments perpetuate. Imagine looking at the baby in your arms, seeing their absolute perfect beauty but knowing that come the arrival of teenhood, they will then resort to going under the knife and behind the syringe – as that is how their beauty, their youth is maintained. It's a horrible, horrible thought.

So many women tell me they ‘have to do it’ because other women do it – thus normalising this trend, here’s an idea, what if we all didn’t do it? What if we normalised ageing? What if we embraced every laughter line, every sag, every scar? What if we taught our kids that what our granny said was true; it really is what’s on the inside that counts? And talking of grannies, when my own died, the last thing I thought about, as I held her hand, was how her face had aged… I only thought about all the lovely times we had had and all the incredible things she had achieved. She was so much more than a wrinkled face.

We live in times of turmoil and uncertainty. Wouldn’t it be great if our thoughts were how we make the world we live in a better place and were not overly obsessed on rolling back the years?

These cosmetic procedures are not cheap – in a world of divide, it is yet another division that will alienate and distress those who can’t keep up. And for what?

I was talking to a supermodel the other day who told me that young models and many young girls she knows are having Botox, so they never get a wrinkle – never! Can you imagine such a thing? Try to think of an old face that isn’t etched with experience, pain, love, and wisdom.  I find this a truly terrifying prospect. 

I, no doubt like you, can think of many women who never got the chance to age. Beautiful, vibrant, smart women who lost their battles, were taken too young, for a whole host of reasons. What wouldn’t their families and friends give to have them here, today, ageing and wrinkled in all their glory. And for that reason, I am ageing naturally and gratefully. Now, where did I put those tweezers…